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How do we feel about the name Jude?
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I’m a big lurker on naming subreddits, and frequently I’ll see other redditors (non-Jews?) say or suggest to avoid the name Jude since that’s the German word for Jew and it was written on the yellow stars we were forced to wear during the Holocaust.
I’ve never seen other Jewish redditors warn against this name. And my personal opinion is that I wouldn’t care if a non-Jew named their kid Jude. I can’t logically explain why, it just seems like an unfortunate coincidence that the name Jude and the German word for Jew are spelled the same way, but that’s all - just a coincidence.
I’m curious what do my other Jewish name nerds think? Would you be bothered if a non-Jew named their son Jude?
Top Comment: I’m Jewish, fairly religious, and my son is named Judah. We almost exclusively call him Jude (or yahuda matza when I’m trying to get his attention).For us, we loved the name Judah and its association to the twelve tribes etc. We started using Jude as a nickname and it just stuck. Honestly, the yellow star association never occurred to me until I saw a photo of it a little bit ago. I thought “oh right, Jude. Guess it’s time to reclaim that”. So, in my mind, I’m taking the power away from the yellow star. However, I completely see how it can be triggering and hard for some. I agree that the name Jude has a gentile ring to it and it wouldn’t bother me if I met a non Jew named Jude. Judah, though, is off limits in my mind.
Jude
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I don’t believe that growing up in the LGBTQ community is a negative thing because that’s life. I get that Jude was gay and possibly bi for the whole series. Actually, did he not admit on an episode that he’s bisexual?
I just don’t like how his sexuality was shown in the series. I get that being a teenager is a mixture of struggles and accomplishments.
I don’t think that his character was fully developed. It seemed like the only one that he spoke to about his sexuality was Lena and I get that. From episode one, and on, he was perceived to be gay for cross dressing and for having his nails polished. He never truly came out as it was more assumptive.
It honestly seems that he was a bit character. There weren’t many storylines that were built around him.
How positive were the storylines between both of them? Connor’s dad assumes Jude is gay. Connor says I know that you’re not gay. Connor initiates most of the contact especially in the earlier stages. Why put the alcohol in Taylor‘s house in the storyline? Why cause Connor to get shot? Why blame Jude? Honestly, it actually seems like Jude was not a willing participant at least to what led up to their relationship. Why consider breaking up with Jude at that dance? I’m not totally dissing Connor. He attended Callie‘s adoption, a few family events, he befriended Jude. He gave Jude that one gaming thing from barely knowing him. Yo
We always heard that he was spending the night at Connors, how many times did we see him there? You know it’s funny that Jude is not allowed at Connor‘s house because Connor‘s mom allegedly doesn’t like people over there. We never see the mom and suddenly we see the dad built-in. We can assume they got divorced or we can assume that that relationship was poorly developed.
The BF that was the son of a minister was mostly negative not every LGBTQ teen uses drugs. Granted it was medical marijuana it seem like him being high was the cornerstone of who he was. I am not happy with how this relationship started but at least Jude initiated it.
I truly think that having Taylor in the series was awesome as it shows he had at least 1 friend who supported him that didn’t include a relationship. It’s quite sad that he essentially was portrayed as a loner.
Why did Jude not attend any meetings? Why were there no true LGBTQ meetings at the school?
But again, were there any truly positive relationships that any of the kids had? Maybe Emma and Jesus maybe but again it seems like it was more on and off.
You can disagree with me, it seems like Jude was the only consoling kid in the family. That might be the only thing that is a positive light of his character.
I hate saying this, but in my eyes, Callie was very homophobic and too controlling of Jude.
Top Comment: He was labeled the foster kid. I can see why he didn't want to be labeled as the gay kid. And as someone else said. Why do people have to state outright if they are gay. Straight people don't.
Jude as a boys name?
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Any thoughts? Like? I’m really struggling to think of a name that is short that I like for my baby. Me and my partner love Jude but I’m worried other people won’t like it. I don’t suppose that matters though.
Top Comment: Jude IS a boy's name.
What comes to mind when you hear the name “Jude”?
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So long story short, I thought I’d finally chosen a name and there are already a couple of people who have started using it, but now I can’t really put off talking to my family, coworkers, and wider social circle about it any longer and I’m becoming less certain. So I thought I’d look back through my name list again and see if there were any other names I could try out just to make sure I was confident with my choice.
So yeah, what are your thoughts when you hear the name? I know it’s generally pretty masculine-leaning, that’s not what I mean. Just, what sort of person do you think of if that makes sense? And do you associate it with anything or anyone?
Thanks in advance for any input.
Top Comment: The song "Hey Jude" comes to mind immediately
What do you think of the name Jude(boy)
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We're not telling friends or family our name options and I just wanted to get people's opinions on a name we have picked out.
The name we have picked out right now is Jude We are not religious at all so we are a little worried people might think we chose the name for religious reasons. Just looking to see what people think. Be honest I won't be offended.
Edit: We plan on going with a middle name that starts with a D so that his initials will be JD
Top Comment: Any time I hear the song “Hey Jude”, I HAVE to sing along to it. Any time I hear the name Jude, I sing that song. It’s my jam. I personally wouldn’t be able to disassociate the name from the song, but that’s not a bad thing.
Jude actually kinda sucks as a person
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Hear me out...
Jude started off as the sweet, thoughtful, quiet, sort of sheltered and guarded youngest sibling of the show. We watch him grow and become comfortable and trusting in his new family, which is great. I understand he became a teenager over the course of the whole show, and teenagers go through a period of being awful.
However...
Jude went from being a sweet, quiet, thoughtful kid to being a selfish and lying douchebag by season 5. The way he treats Noah by the time he starts streaming with Taylor and Declan is kind of repulsive. Again, I understand he's a teenager and things happen. But he starts to make a habit of lying to and deceiving his moms, who have given him nothing but unconditional love and support for the entirety of his stay in their house. Not to mention how he starts speaking to Callie, who only ever cared about and looked out for him. Sure, she made some stupid choices, but she always felt she was doing what was right for him and he ends up resenting her for it.
I want to reiterate that I KNOW HE IS 14 BY SEASON 5, but he has jumped from one of my favorite characters to one of my least favorite.
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Yeah, he started out as a cutie and ended up solidly as my least favorite of the kids.
A Little Life - Willem and Jude Discussion (Major TW and Spoilers!)
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TLDR; Willem exhibits some outright abusive behaviors in A Little Life and I feel like I'm the only one who feels that way! I want to know what your thoughts about this character/relationship are and why?
Okay, so I am about 600 pages into A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara and I have some thoughts about the relationship between Jude and Willem. I don't have the same critiques of the book that everyone else has. For example, as a survivor of repeated CSA, I don't find the book gratuitous, offensive or unrealistic in anyway. I understand why others might, and I definitely think it borders on unpleasant, but I do find Jude's depiction of how his trauma is like a pack of hyenas a description of my feelings in a way that I have never ever seen expressed into words. But one thing that has bothered me, and something I seem to be alone in, is extreme discomfort with Willem and Jude's relationship. Everyone I have seen talk about this, even those who hated the book, have praised Willem as a character for being a kind, loving, understanding partner to Jude. But both as a survivor and as someone who's career involves me working with survivors, I feel like I could hand the "Happy Years" section out as a step-by-step guide of what not to as a partner to a CSA survivor. Major spoilers ahead.
- >!Going into the relationship, Willem knew that Jude self-harmed, that he had severe mental health and trauma problems, that he was suicidal and that he was uncomfortable with sex. So I don't agree that "it was so hard for him, you can't judge him". Jude is an extremely unhealthy character who most of the characters enable the whole book, but the way Willem decides to finally stop enabling ends up making the problem worse (maybe not in the book, but Willem violates just about every "best practice" regarding having a loved one survive sexual violence).
- Constantly poking and prodding at Jude to open up. Every character does this, and I do think talking would help Jude a great deal. However, knowing that even the memory of his abuse triggers self harm and suicidal ideation, I do not think that for most of the book that Jude is in a healthy place to recall and relay those stories to non-professionals. Willem, on the other hand, demands that Jude talk about what happened to him as a child, even asking for Jude to detail his abuse to him for his birthday present, and yelling at him again to talk about it to the point that Jude shuts down in the car on the way to thanksgiving. Willem doesn't just think this will help Jude, he feels like it is something Jude owes him. And that leaves an awful taste in my mouth.
- When he walks in on Jude cutting, he grabs the razor and starts cutting himself in front of Jude. Jude's self harm is harmful, destructive, maybe even selfish- but never once does he do it in front of another person. Willem walked in, and did it in front of him with the sole intention of hurting him. Not only is there peer reviewed research that shows that a self harmer watching another person self harm will only make the issue worse, not better. But the same research also tells loved ones that threatening to, or executing, self harm on yourself to get the other person to stop doesn't work, and is actually extremely manipulative. It will only hurt and traumatize the other person more, and make them feel more ashamed about a behavior that they are addicted to and cannot easily stop. On the note of addiction...
- When Willem leaves to shoot a movie, he makes Jude promise him to stop self harming, with little to no resources to stop him from doing it. Not only is it not that easy to just stop, choosing to make him abstain instead of reducing the harm is not helpful. That is exactly what happens in the book. In order to stop cutting, Jude burns himself. And this is obviously horrific and not Willem's fault in the slightest, it is the shame and secrecy imposed by Willem that causes him to act this way. This throws Wilem into a fit of rage where Willem again demands and yells at Jude to tell him about Brother Luke. Again, making the problem worse, not better or even neutral.
- That night, after suspecting that Jude has self harmed again, he comes into the bathroom, rips Jude's clothes off and gets on top of him to see if he has self harmed. He forcibly removes the clothing of his rape survivor boyfriend, and we are supposed to empathize with how bad he feels about it? I don't know. I understand how upset he is, understandably, but he handles the situation with such little tact and such severity that he has to realize that he is being actually abusive. Not just adjacent, not just a bad partner, but actually abusive by getting physical with his partner.
- In two sections in the Happy Years section, we get a look into Willem's internal monologue. In one of these, he uses the word "coerced" when describing getting Jude to shower with him (something previously established as a boundary of Jude's). He says that he coerced Jude into the shower, telling him "this will be good for you", and then refused to let Jude get out when he was visibly uncomfortable. Jude goes catatonic for the rest of the night, and Willem feels bad, something that becomes a pattern. (do shitty thing, realize shitty thing was shitty, feel bad about shitty thing, apologize to Jude, do another shitty thing).
- In the other internal monologue section, he suspects that Jude doesn't actually like sex. He says that Jude says he does, but he suspects that Jude only says that to appease him. He suspects that Jude's self harm gets worse when they have sex, and that he is lying about wanting to do it. He then says that this made him want to do it more, not to hurt Jude, but to understand what is happening. When Jude finally tells him he in fact doesn't like it, his reaction, internally, was that he basically knew that already and this was just confirmation. But this whole time that he is aware of these things, he continues to have sex with Jude anyway, brushing his concerns aside and only asking once if Jude is okay with it.!<
I had to put the book down. None of the sexual abuse, domestic abuse, self harm, etc. made me as upset as reading some of this manipulative, outright upsetting behavior from the romantic lead. And it made me more upset that this is the love story that has been lauded as the great gay love story of our generation, and that Willem is supposed to be the model partner for abuse survivors. I know how the book ends, and I do think it will make me sad because I spend the bulk of the book really attached to him, but I could not believe that this is supposed to be Jude's soulmate. So far, I am only sad that, including Willem, Jude never ever has a healthy, loving relationship with romance, himself, sex, etc. Did you pick up on any of this? What are your thoughts on Willem and Jude's relationship? If you love Willem because of, or in spite of this, why?
Top Comment: I also picked up on this, but I don’t think I had the same reaction as you because I didn’t see Willem as a romantic lead really, but a flawed person of his own. I don’t think that his and Jude’s relationship was written to be perfect, or even to be good or healthy, but maybe it was received as that.
Do you assume a person called Jude is Jewish ?
Main Post: Do you assume a person called Jude is Jewish ?
Top Comment: I would assume that their parents were Beatles fans.